You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
