I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Randomize
