Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
