And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
