covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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