I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
