If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
