id be glad to
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
why is half of my head shaved?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
