You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
