i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
