i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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