No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
