Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
