Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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