I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
