Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have fence marks all over my body
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
