i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you traded sex for a burrito?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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