just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
