what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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