I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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