piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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