I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
