Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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