whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
