C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
