oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
