I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
