aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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