So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
