oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
