Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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