But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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