Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
