I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
