dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
