We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
