and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
