Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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