Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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