as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
