And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
