Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
