when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
