he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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