If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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