but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
