Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
