Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
