Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
