lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
