Dude my mom stole all your condoms
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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