Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
