I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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