Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
