This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
