Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
