just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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